


That’s What She Said

by Gelphie_Supercorp_Emisue_etc17



Category: Beetlejuice - All Media Types, Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King
Genre: Bj has interesting pet names for the maitlands haha, F/M, M/M, adam and Barbara just wanna have a normal day, and it was going okay, and she’s totally gay but we’ll get to that later lol, anywaayyyyyy....., barbara can’t help her giggles, bj made one to many “that’s what she said” jokes and it rubbed off on our sweet and innocent barbara, he’s mad and proud at the same time, i think they were just watching a basketball game or soemthing, idk I need to write another chapter, lol, lydia is totally his wingwoman, she’s so adorable omg, until someone screamed, you’ll find out hahah
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:15:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23193814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gelphie_Supercorp_Emisue_etc17/pseuds/Gelphie_Supercorp_Emisue_etc17
Summary: Beetlejuice made one too many “that’s what she said” jokes and it apparently rubbed off on our favorite ghost couple! And Barbara can’t help giggling at everything!
Relationships: Beetlejuice & Adam Maitland, Beetlejuice & Barbara Maitland, Beetlejuice/Adam Maitland/Barbara Maitland
Comments: 4
Kudos: 76





	That’s What She Said

**Author's Note:**

> AHHH BROADWAY HAS GONE DARK!!!! Don’t worry! I wrote this so you can read it while we soothe the eviction and quarantine pain, lol. Anyway, hope you guys like it!!

It was a relatively normal summer afternoon in the Deetz-Maitland household. With Delia and Charles out for the day, it sadly left Barbara and Adam Maitland with the daunting and tiring job of maintaining order. Which was a hard task with Lydia and Beetlejuice in the building. It had been a relatively okay day, all things considered. Barbara was in the middle of making sandwiches for lunch, Adam was reading in the living room, and the two “children” were up in Lydia’s room doing who knows what.

Barbara hummed a strange tune as she puttered around the kitchen, doubling what she would normally make just to accommodate Beetlejuice. She and Adam couldn’t really eat anything, and Lydia usually did not have much of an appetite. When the demon was around, however, all of the food in the house would be gone in at least two days. Barbara found it equally annoying as it was kind of cute.

Just as she was about to get Adam to call the other two down for lunch, Barbara heard a loud bang come from upstairs. It was quickly followed by another, and a few shrieking peals of laughter.

Barbara dropped what she was doing and ran out of the kitchen, the hem of her dress swirling around her ankles. She met Adam at the bottom of the stairs and the two shared a worried look before racing to the second floor to see what had happened. It only took about half a minute to get to Lydia’s bedroom door, but both ghosts knew that anything could have happened in those precious thirty seconds.

After skidding to a painful halt, Adam knocked loudly and called to see if everything was alright.

Barbara fidgeted with the hem of her dress nervously, lifting it slightly up past her knee in the process. She didn’t want anyone getting hurt, and that was bound to happen at least once a day when Beetlejuice was around. It was a little past noon, and they hadn’t heard a sound yet. It was way overdue for something to happen.

Adam was just about to knock again when the mangled wooden door quickly swung inward. It opened to reveal Beetlejuice leaning against the doorframe in a mildly seductive pose, Lydia giggling madly behind him. The demon’s hair was pulled into a ponytail on the top of his head, and it seems that Lydia had done his makeup as well, with black smears under his eyes. Lydia’s makeup was done as well (along with the strange smudges), and she wore what Barbara remembered was called a scrunchie on her wrist. Strangely enough, a green and black rubber basketball was tucked neatly underneath her arm.

Barbara wondered what the paint was. She guessed it had to do with some sort of sport, judging from the basketball, but she had never really understood sports. She decided that she’d ask Adam later.

“Wassup Sexy,” Beetlejuice winked at Adam, causing the ghost to blush furiously. The demon burst out laughing at Adam’s expression, doubling over and slapping his leg dramatically. He quickly straightened again, however, and exclaimed, “And Babs!” when he saw her. He moved to wrap one arm around her shoulders and squeezed. “What a lovely surprise!”

“Beetlejuice,” Barbara abdomished lightly, not really able to pull the smile off of her face. “We saw you an hour ago when you came up from the basement and floated into Lydia’s room saying, ‘God has given me the power of flight my friends. I shall see you in Heaven.’”

Beetlejuice nodded sagely as Lydia cackled from the doorway. “Oh yes, I do remember that.”

“Yes. . .” Barbara nodded as well, slower than her dead friend, smile still stuck on her face. She and Adam exchanged a quick look before starting to giggle softly.

Lydia furrowed her brows. “What’s so funny, Dead-Mom-Number-Two?”

Adam rolled his eyes playfully. “Lydia we talked about this—”

“Shhhhhhhhhh,” Beetlejuice put a finger to Adam’s lips, effectively shutting him up for the moment. His arm was still wrapped around Barbara’s body, but he managed to elongate his other one to reach the man next to him. “Adam, dear, as much as I love the sound of your voice, let the Toadstool speak.”

“Hey!” Lydia shouted, offended. Barbara laughed again, shaking the demon's body the tiniest bit.

“Whaaat?” Beetlejuice whined, turning back to Lydia. “What are you, four foot two? You can’t be taller than that.”

Lydia punched her dead “brother” in the arm. She was careful to keep the ball tucked safely away under her arm as well as avoid hurting Adam. “I’ll have you know,” she said, jokingly making her voice higher and holding her chin up. “I am five, two! Not four foot two, you dumbass.”

Beetlejuice shrugged, jostling Barbara and Adam slightly. “Same diff.”

“Not in the slightest!”

“Whatever you say, Short Stack.”

“Hey!!”

Beetlejuice cackled, causing the teenager to hurl the basketball at him in playful frustration. Before Barbara or Adam could pull him away, or even shout a warning, the ball hit Beetlejuice right in the gut. It caused the demon to let out a noise that sounded like a mix between a snake, goat and scream all at once, and double over in pain. He quickly released the ghost couple from his grip, only to wrap his arms around his torso instead.

“Lydia!” Adam and Barbara exclaimed at the same time, quickly going to help the demon up.

Lydia shrugged and leaned skillfully against the doorframe again. She copied how Beetlejuice had leaned there, just less in the form of trying to seduce a certain ghost couple.

“Are you alright?” Adam inquired, his eyes filled with worry for his unusual friend.

With the help of Barbara’s strong and steading arm, Beetlejuice recovered quickly and stood up once again. “What the actual shit, Lydia?” he laughed tightly, cringing in pain. “I won’t be able to take it anymore if you keep it up like that!”

Lydia opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted by a sudden bout of soft giggles.

Everyone turned to face Barbara, who was covering her mouth with her hand, a giant smile on her face as she laughed. It was a tinkling sound, like the bells of how fairies are born. Beautiful, sweet and definitely contagious. The smile on her face was almost secretive, her blue eyes held a little sparkle as she glanced at each of them.

“What’s so funny, Hot-Lips?” Beetlejuice asked, genuinely curious.

It took Barbara a few seconds to gather herself up enough to form the words, but once she did, the blonde woman stood on her tiptoes and placed her hands on the demon's shoulder. She smiled and whispered loudly, “That’s what she said!” before dissolving into another round of infectious giggles.

“Barbara!” Adam gasped, shocked that his wife would ever say such a thing. Then he caught her eye and realized how actually funny it was. The two of them were soon laughing together, leaving Beetlejuice and Lydia standing there, smiling.

“Looks like you rubbed off on them, BJ,” Lydia joked before turning back into her room. She shut the door loudly behind her.

Beetlejuice just stared at the couple for a few, long moments. “Oh shit,” he muttered, shocked that they were stealing his joke. He was practically the creator of “that’s what she said” jokes! What were they thinking, trying to crack his jokes? But then again, this was another step in the direction of “Scary Maitlands 2.3”, and who was he to judge?

And, Beetlejuice had to admit, Barbara did have great timing.

“Come on you two sexy beasts,” he muttered, smiling and trying to lead the two giggling ghosts downstairs. “I’m hungry.”

**Author's Note:**

> Don’t worry, I’ll add another chapter to explain what the hell was happening with the war paint, basketball and screaming. Should be up soon! And remember guys, wash your hands! stay safe lovelies!!<3


End file.
